Damn it Gilmore, give them back their balls!!

-Damn it Gilmore, give them back their balls!!

  -"Oy with the poodles already!" 

-Where have all the anvils gone? 

Emily:When a women gives birth to a crack baby,you do not buy her a puppy!

Lorelai: What does that even mean? 

The church pastor finding Luke and Lorelai breaking the church bells. His response? "Oh thank god...carry on." 

Lorelai:it was a really big spider.
I think it had a gun

-is it raining?
Paris:no, it's national baptism day
tie your tubes,idiot 

Taylor:there is no use for a lava lamp unless your on drugs

Lorelai: We like our internet slow okay?
we can turn it on,walk around, do a little dance,make sandwich

Lorelai:I can be flexible.As long as everything is exactly the way i want it, I'm totally flexible.

Rory:I'm going to a serious school now, I need serious paper.

Lorelai:I think I'm dating luke....


Emily:You almost ran over me. 
Lorelai:Well good thing we're at a hospital.

Rory:I find nothing exciting before eleven

Lorelai:you have to sleep. it's what makes you pretty.
Rory:who cares if i'm pretty if i fail my finals
Lorelai:oh-kay,  you've got this completely backwards

Lorelai:Follow the post its!

Rory:so you aren't mad?
Lorelai:you won't really know until you read my memoir

Lorelai:I'm afraid once your heart is involved, it all comes out in moron 

“Lorelai: What’s the rush
Luke: I don’t like babies
Jackson: Hey! I suddenly felt violently protective. huh its gone…
(a little later) Sookie: hey get violently protective again so Luke will back off
Jackson; I don’t know if I can summon it like that
Sookie: Try
Jackson: AARRRREeee Luke
Luke: In five minutes you’re all gone
Jackson: I let you down
Lorelai: The Argg was good but then you sorta peetered out” 


Lorelai: You lost me at carrots, which is the first draft of ‘you had me at hello’.

 LOGAN: You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. Not that that’s going to stop us, but at least I’ll have all the facts"

 "LORELAI: Look around you. There are babies popping out all over the place.
RORY: You are in a maternity ward! You’ve got a skewed sample there."

 "SOOKIE: Oh, I’m freaking out Rory!
LORELAI: It’s okay. She’s a traditionalist. When she has a baby, she’s going to be out in the waiting room, pacing and smoking."

 "LUKE: Those guys with the tire irons. Where did your mother get them?
LORELAI: The D.A.R. And they don’t work for outsiders."


 "KIRK: You’re kidding.
LUKE: I don’t do toast humor."

"EMILY: Have you lost your mind?
LORELAI: No, no. It’s still sloshing around up there."

 LORELAI: I mean, I am your mom, and we are very close, in case you haven’t heard"


"LORELAI: And suddenly you’re just so freakin’ reliable, you just hop to it and do whatever I say?
RORY: I’ve always been freakin’ reliable. It’s how I was raised.
LORELAI: Oh, so blame me"


 "LUKE: I’m not taking this anymore!
LORELAI: What do you mean, you’re not taking it anymore? What are you going to do?
LUKE: You want to know what I’m going to do? Nothing! Because I am in a relationship with you and you know very well I can’t leave. All I can do is come out here and say I’m through and pretend I have a leg to stand on and then march back into that kitchen and keep doing the job, but, oh, boy. I’m going to be thinking about what I would have done if we weren’t in a relationship, even though that would mean I wouldn’t be in this position in the first place."

 "PARIS: Sick people freak me out.
RORY: You’re pre-med!
PARIS: I’m really tired of having that constantly thrown in my face."


 "LORELAI: What are you doing here, Sassy McSassterson?"

 "LORELAI: I am starting to hyperventilate and I’m not wearing a stretchy fabric"


 "LOGAN: Where’s this coming from?
RORY: It’s coming from me. The ravishing creature standing in front of you."

 "EZEKIEL:What name should I give this place? Hollow. Stars. Hollow. Stars.
LORELAI: No. Really? They’re going to leave us on a cliffhanger?"

  "LANE: He just flat out looked out of his face right into my face and said to my face that he was lying."

 "RORY: Miss Patty’s leftover punch is used to remove tar from construction sites.
PARIS: Then let it remove the tar from our souls."

 "LUKE: Why are you not four hundred and fifty pounds?
LORELAI: I know. Scientists call it the Lorelai Paradox"

LORELAI: This dress is too slutty.
RORY: The dress is fine. The person in it, however"

 "LORELAI: Cluelessness is the mother of invention."

 LORELAI: How would you feel about doing a little shopping tomorrow?
RORY: Hurt. Confused. A little dirty."